Long story short. If you don’t want to say it then don’t, but don’t ride my ass for being ok with it.
Some people that are pure vanilla refer to their interest, friends, and lovers as Mommy and Daddy or some variation. Its a term of endearment, for many that use it. Where I grew up it was common, within the POC folks at least. I called my human Daddy before I learned it was a thing in D/s, before I even knew what BDSM was.
In the kink community, there is a sexual connotation to it, but outside of that community there isn’t automatically that assumption.
I know some people are quite secretive about their lifestyle and for some it varies. That’s perfectly fine until you start making assumptions.
I call my Dom the same names and titles, in public and private. Apparently that means I want everyone to know our sex lives and private lives; but it’s a mistake assuming that people’s sex lives are wrapped up in a title, or that you know anything about their private lives.
I don’t hide who I am, but I don’t really broadcast it to everyone.
I’m open about being a sub. I don’t hide that I’m a little, but I don’t go up to people and say” hey you I’m a sub”, unless it’s relevant to a discussion. I’m talk quite openly on kink related media, but only mention it in other places if I have serious concerns regarding what people think about the lifestyle or the information being put out.
Like that one time I totally derailed and feminist discussion about how women shouldn’t choose to be submissive because it turns us into doormats and gives men a wicked complex. You better believe I was loud and proud and explained exactly how feminism and being a sub work for me.
I don’t tell people who my kinky friends are. People don’t know who they are unless they know them themselves. It’s not my place anyways.
BDSM is just one of the many aspects of my life.I don’t have to hide to not share the intimate details of my life. People are gonna judge and assume no matter how much I share or hide regardless.
Its not their business, but if you think calling my husband Daddy in public or Mister in front of family (or any other names I have for him since I do have a rule about using his given name) means I’m telling everyone about our dynamic, you are wrong.
I suggest you take a step back a face the actual issue, which is you comfort level and fears.
Those are personal problems that have little to do with my dynamic or relationships, and if the way we do our dynamic sends you into a tizzy , I really need you to back off.
Its perfectly fine to not want people to know about YOUR dynamic, but that doesn’t mean that those of us that don’t hide are shouting off the rooftops; though I’d love to. We do what we feel safe doing, that doesn’t mean we expect you to do the same.
If you choose to conform to ” normal” because of necessity or want that’s fine, just don’t look down on us. Please don’t bring that, why can’t you be” normal” shit to me either.
What even is normal?
Grumbles with Kitten In Limbo 