For me pain is love…

Let me clarify. If I inflict pain on you, its an expression of love, a type of affection. At Least for now. Love comes in many forms, whether friends level to lover level.

I don’t hold the same standard though when it comes to people hurting me. I don’t need or necessarily want the people that give me the pain I crave to love me, just respect that I am a willing person trusting them not to take it too far.
Though I will admit that its 10 times better coming from someone that cares for me at least as a friend.

~~~

I don’t love gently. I very skeptical of people who love me gently. I’m the pe of person who loves in a fierce, passionate, and bruising way, almost violent. 🙂

Anything less would be fake and dishonest of me, not only to said person receiving the love, but to me as well.

I came to terms with this about myself a long time ago. I learned that love doesn’t have to be experienced the way everyone else thinks it should, just bc its the norm.

It may be my primal side that creates this desire to demonstrate my affection for others in such a way. IDK, but I do feel that its troubling that people find this unacceptable. The assumption that we may be abusive in our love is valid, but pressing that that is what always happens isn’t helpful.

Maybe our type of love just isn’t for you. We aren’t trying to break you. And I promise at least, that I won’t intentionally try to break you.

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