Reading the Room: When people can’t tell the difference of their label being attacked from discussions of red flags.

Let’s put this up for consideration.

Topic: Unicorns, hierarchy, couple’s privilege.

So there are terms with negative connotations in non-monogamy.

Thirds, unicorns, couple’s privilege, hierarchy, primary, etc. 

It’s been like this for a while. The negative treatment of “thirds” is coming to light because polyamory is gaining more public traction. More people are calling out abuses and people who use polyamory as an umbrella term for non-monogamy  whic& can turn bad and unhealthy very quickly.

Neither word nor label is inherently bad, but they are intrinsically tied to abusive/ dangerous non-consensual behaviors. As polyamory is still not a norm the idea that the terms are inherently bad is easy to hold on to.

But like spouse( maybe specifically wife) and marriage are not bad, when discussing DV and abuse there may be strong negative connotations.

In polyamory and non-monogamy, people that identify as unicorns and often people who practice some form of hierarchy aren’t reading the context that the discussion is about abusive practices.  Often time the overall discussion isn’t even about abuse but giving information about how a specific aspect can turn into abuse.

These clashes often represent privilege, seeing polyamory through a narrow lens, and a lack of ability to communicate in forums due to the pretty one-dimensional aspects of tone and language.

Note the context before assuming that just because you saw a word you identify with it means the discussion is generalized or about you. If you think about this objectively people have discussions like this about red flags every day without it devolving. Why? Because the point is a warning, giving information and context so people have the ability to make informed choices.

slave kitty.