Equity in D/s based poly

Originally posted in Black and Poly BDSM Style a cross-posted to the Poly littles and their Caregivers page.

I’m sure many of you are aware that D/s dynamic doesn’t always have a couple looking for another partner.
In our lifestyle, a Dominant can have every intention of having more than one submissive.

Perhaps both are obtained at the same time. Perhaps at a different time. But the order of the hierarchy is up to the Dominant in the end.

Of course the Dominant is at the top. There are many ways that the hierarchy can be furthered. There may be an alpha submissive who is the submissive who is the most proficient in running the Dominant’s household or overseeing that the Dominant’s vision is carried out when they are not available or incapacitated.

Or the submissives are viewed as equals by the Dominant and thus that is how they should view each other.

Equality, however, is not splitting the pie in half in D/s.

It is equity. It is negotiated.

What do we mean by equity?

We mean that we create quality in the actions and time each submissive has with their Dominant, ensuring that their NEEDS are observed and cared for.

It means providing an environment for each submissive to thrive and grow as a person while in your service.

It means that fair doesn’t mean equal in a relationship; so treating everyone exactly the same is harmful and unhealthy, unless that is the NEGOTIATED and OBSERVED need.




One thought on “Equity in D/s based poly

  1. Equity is very important in poly BDSM relationships so that everyone’s needs are met… Needs that can’t be served equally. Especially where jealousy can emerge when partners quantify the amount of time they have with each other.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s