Why not having playtime with your Dom sucks

For Papa play is a foreplay.
For me sex completely ruins play.

Before I go on let me highlight a few things.
-I am a sex-repulsed asexual.
– I do not age play, so that’s not implied in play. That has to be asked for and is something that being a little doesn’t alway make easy.
– Play for me can not have sexual undertones or sex otherwise, I don’t view it as play. It’s sex and it’s not what I’m wanting ( maybe if there is blood or I’m in primal head space).

We’ve been together in a D/s dynamic for over 2 years. The one constant is that mixing sex and play ruins everything for us.

Things go bad. Resentment builds. We start seriously disliking each other.

Many people view BDSM as a form of sexual expression. I view as just a form of expression and communication for the most part. It’s really friggin complicated to explain, so I just try doing what I’m comfortable with.

So we are connecting. Having a good time. No verbally communicating. Then he gets horny. Sad face and its all down hill from there.

As soon as things switch from play to sex, the mood changes. I can’t just focus on what’s happening. I have to concentrate on not freaking out on keeping myself in Big space, and recognizing that its Papa and not some asshole. Sex requires work, that zaps me out of my feel good place and he knows it. We’ve known each other for a while and are so in tune with each other that we can tell when something off. The mood is ruined. And he can’t play without sex.

Sigh

Play is such a huge way of demonstrating trust and submission to me.

Being able to provide for his pleasure as well as take care of the home as a domestic type sub and keep his life in order are all integral parts of being a 24/7 owned sub.

Only being able to fulfill some of those needs is extremely sad making.

The worst part is knowing that your Dominant is trying very hard to not push you. Knowing how patient he’s being. This is why he’s the Dom and I’m not. I would have left me by now over this. If she was an integral part of my connection and something I wanted from my sub, I would have said oh well we are obviously incompatible; even if she, like I am, was perfectly fine with me being with others.

So what’s a little subby girl to do when she wants to make Daddy happy and knows she limited?

Btw: being sex-repulsed sucks balls.

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