The folly of focusing solely on a safeword.

We look at the safe word like it’s this infallible safety.
Some pretend like if you don’t want something the safeword should be the only thing to stop play or kinky sex.
You pretend like the only thing that matters is the words coming out of a person’s mouth is the agreed upon term.

To me, people like that are dangerous in a bad way.

You can’t rely on one word.
You have to note body language and check in.
You have to note what they are saying and check in.
You have to check in.

Someone can have a button pushed, without them realizing. In their panic and fear, their need to stop, they may forget the safe word.

If they say “Stop”. You check in. You remind them of the safeword.

“Stop” may not be a safe word, but it should be a something you pause at.

Now if you’ve specifically negotiated that stop is not a safe word, ok.
You should still check in and make sire they are good.

I mean it’s better safe than sorry.


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