Shit people say when you are in an interracial relationship

I don’t have a color preference. I think that is a stupid thing to pick friends and partners by, but because I don’t, I’ve had to deal with a lot of shit over the years. Especially having my longest relationship being too a white guy who was practically politically apathetic when we started dating.
Here is a list ( that will likely grow) of stupid things people have said to me over my 24 years as a Black woman… These are vanilla and D/s assumptions.

* *People think you are into race play with everyone.*
* *People think you like degradation.*
* *People assume your relationship is based off of American slavery of black.*
* *People assume you were in need of being saved.*
* *People assume you accept casual racism as humor. But seriously though fuck you.*
* Black people get angry at you for giving up on black men and demeaning female superiority with a shit guy’s my Domly. But I don’t believe women are superior. I believe in equality and I’m poly. There is no need for me to wait around for a Black King or prince bc he could be a little too), plus I’m LGBT.*
* *If you are opinionated and educated ( whether self-taught or by higher education) you hate black men. **What even***
* *You are obviously an angry black woman. **I mean I’m a naturally grumpy cat-human, but bubbles exist. Plus that is a really tired archetype for black women.***
* **You think people who share similar cultural backgrounds to you are trash…
* *So therefore, you are uppity, an oreo, a race traitor, I can go on… *
* *Your spouse is a cuck.*
* *If you are pro-black you are using you spouse as a cover for your racism.*
* *You are racist. Like you are just a big fucking racist who reinforces all forms of racism especially systemic racism, bc history is not a thing that influences the present. Let me remind you it has not be 100 years yet since my relationship was considered illegal and there were people all over who still think it should be. Something about not diluting blood or something. *
* *You are fucking coon.**
* *You deserve to die. I mean yea. But bruh.*
* *People seriously love to tell me how well-spoken I am, especially after telling me I have a pretty skin color. Oh and sometimes they even state that I’m a pretty black girl. But bc I’m light skin. The fuck…*
* *I’ve been called an Ethiopian princess and an ethnic goddess. Really it’s not a compliment.*
People don’t understand that race is actually a bigger part of your life than its needs to be bc they do that to you. They are part of the problem.

Until my second year of college, I avoided race discussion because I didn’t and still don’t care about the race of the people I meet and care for. My grandmother who grew up in the 40s and 50s and so I ignored it because the world was different. Right? By my second year of college, however, I realized we keep repeating history in various ways. I could no longer ignore the negative impact that race had played in my life and the lives of others.

I could no longer ignore that people are being murdered and abused for the color of their skin.

I could no longer ignore that my southern pride was far different than the guy in high school whose family was all about southern pride, confederate flag and all. But he told me “I really want to take you out but my family will hate you” , and later I found out why he was afraid to tell me the reason. There are two types of southern pride and that shocked the hell out of me.

I could no longer ignore that there are people who think many students of color don’t work hard to get an education and just get handouts.

I can’t ignore that on more than one occasion I’ve been assumed to be a criminal for the color of my skin and that the well dressed white guy was the reason they didn’t say something.

There are many things that don’t affect me when it comes to race issues because within racial issues. Colorism plays a factor.

But in the end, all of this shows that it’s not just racial hate. It is racial ignorance.
And it’s a problem.

So to those who don’t  get it, we are militant. I am militant. It is simply not a matter of comfort, it is about lives. Living. Breathing. Existing because racism in some places is still that bad.


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