I get that lots of subs are only poly because that’s what their Dom wants.
But that’s not me.
I’ve been poly for 10 years ( as in actually dating people), but I’ve never been monogamous. I always questioned what I perceived as a limitation on love, even when I was a young child.
I’ve been indifferent configurations throughout high school; surprisingly none that involved my current Dom since we went to high school together and we were a part of the same crowd ( most of which who were in a constantly evolving poly “blob”). Yet he stayed monogamous.
Of Course then I didn’t know it was poly. To me it was just normal. I didn’t learn polyamory was a thing people did ,until once I was in university. I took a big interest in proving polygamy wasn’t this god awful concept and I found out that I was really ok with it if that’s what I ended up in, and then suddenly I came across the word “polyamory”, and it was a big duh moment.
I tried monogamy with my ex, which totally failed. I never experienced something so controlling and limiting before. After that I reconnected with my current Dom for a vanilla relationship, in which I informed him almost a year into it that I knew monogamy wasn’t for me.
I loved him so I probably would have stuck around and tried to tough it out, even if he said poly was out of the question. It took a year for me to persuade him to test the poly waters, with lots of rules (ugh) and such.
Poly is a part of who I am. Its not just a thing I do. Its the way I relate.
Possibly because of my pack mentality.
With or without my Dom, I’m polyamorous. I fall easily and I like to get close, though I respect boundaries. I also know that relationships can take on so many forms.
Its beautiful and something that I’d hate to live without.
But my problem is the rules thing.
I get it. I’m the sub, but when it comes to my other relationships, I will always have boundaries set. I am definitely ok with the vetting process my human wants to conduct on potential partners, but I definitely never will agree on veto power of my potential partners without good reason and I’m definitely not ok with him trying to control my other relationships due to any insecurity if he ever experienced it.
Because my other relationships aren’t about him or for him. He has to respect that, just as I respect him.