The thing that many have a problem understanding is that Brat is a role.
There is a difference between Brat, brat, and bratty.
When speaking about the role of a Brat in writing, I use a capital letter because people mix it up with the behavior. That’s fine in vanilla setting because it not a role outside of the lifestyle.
To me, it’s like being a Dominant and being domineering.
A Dominant is not domineering. He doesn’t force his dominance on someone unless it’s a negotiated kink.
A Brat is not bratty. Bratting, especially in the context of a D/s dynamic or relationship, is something that is agreed upon.
*A brat is a bad ill-mannered person, who doesn’t respect others.
*A Brat is a role in BDSM. Brats push the boundaries in their relationship as negotiated. We add spice to our dynamics. But it’s important to note that a Brat who is a submissive and in a D/s dynamic is not disobedient or disrespectful by being a Brat.
*Being bratty is situational. Like I’m sleepy as fuck and sleepy equals hitting my younger little space, but I can’t sleep because we are out. I don’t mean to be an ass, but it kinda happens. (Note: These are times I hate being a regressive little.)
I’m proudly a brat because it makes our dynamic fun. It’s mostly just part of my personality. I push boundaries but negotiated boundaries only, because that’s what we agreed. I’m opinionated and sassy. He’d be miserable without it. He’s admitted it. With another Dominant I’m in a dynamic/relationship with, I may not be a Brat.
Brats are definitely a preference because some people don’t want a Brat partner. It shouldn’t be forced on them, if you are forcing it, you may be a brat. Brats want to have fun with their partner’s not break down their relationship by being an asshole.
If you notice you have Brat tendencies, negotiate. Some people don’t realize that they have a Brat side and often engage in bratty behavior.
Essentially, consent and negotiations are the difference. Without consent and negotiations, you’re not respecting your partner’s boundaries and that can ease its way into manipulation.
Let me repeat:
Being a Brat is not about disrespect or disobedience.
Also being a Brat is not automatically something Littles or age players are. So please don’t make those assumptions.
Maybe take some time and learn before stereotyping.