Originally posted on my fet
Idk the idea of sharing my Daddy bothers me.
Not because I’m afraid of someone else coming in and changing us.
Because he is a person, not an object.
He is not something to be shared or confine. He is a human being with a mind of his own. He is an individual, with needs and desires that are all a part of the beautiful makeup that is him.
I think one of the things that many don’t quite grasp when it comes to polyamory is that you let go of the idea of owning your partner in any way beyond mutual agreement.
You aren’t sharing your Daddy. You aren’t even sharing the dynamic between you two.
You are allowing each other to be authentic. You are providing a space for growth and learning through separate and mutual experiences.
To me, poly works in many different ways, but there are always multiple relationships going on even inside a group relationship and you shouldn’t have to be afraid of how the individual relationships will change.
Maybe you’ll get less time. Maybe they will be distracted sometimes.
But when you went into poly you knew that there are a fixed number of hours in a day.
You knew that everyone has responsibilities they have to tend to.
You know, relationships in general, require compromise and discussion.
You know that In monogamous dating it can be hard to schedule around 2 people’s lives. Imagine 3+.
So why when it comes to poly we start being weird.
I learned earlier in my dating that it was fear. But your partners can’t handle your fears if you don’t identify them yourself and work on them.
You are instead throwing this invisible shield and pushing everyone into a corner.
When I looked up “sharing” or just the definition of “share” I have a hard time applying any of those definitions to a partner.
- Sharing is the joint use of a resource or space.
- *A part or portion belonging to, distributed to, contributed by, or owed by a person or group.
- one’s full or fair portion
I can’t imagine viewing my partner as something separated into pieces to be divided among partners. Or in other words only getting parts of my partner.
I don’t see relationships as something to be shared because dyadic relationships will always exist. My relationship with Papa will always exist and that can’t be taken from me unless I allow someone else to do so.
My Papa’s time is not my time. It’s his time to allocate, just as my times is for me to allocate.
IDK I just don’t feel like sharing a human being is really realistic.